Wednesday, June 27, 2012

letter in a bottle....

This one is not the romantic kind either. When mama went out on the porch this morning she saw a letter in a bottle. She did listen to her gut instinct not to touch it. After the stalker and her pranks, mama decided to call 9-1-1. Guess what? To our suprise they arrived in about 5 mins. I called into my staff to let them know I wouldn't be in. My main buddie at work became frantic and thought the stalker had gotten her bull's eye. Not quite.

After the special agents came in to defuse what they thought was a bomb, it was a dud. Acutally, just a letter calling me names along with dates and times of my departures and arrivals.

 Today wasn't all loss, the new survelliance system has been completed! Many of my neighbors are on high alert and are feeling angry..... Why? A few evenings ago the stalker had a convoy of cars speeding down our block. A child almost got hit due to her silliness.  Her musical choices late in the evening leave much to be desired as well.

My stalker was spoken to firmly by the police but of course she played possum and acted unsuspecting.  But they are on to her.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

this wife bakes: Its all Ginger baby.

this wife bakes: Its all Ginger baby.: …And when ginger is paired with Lemon it is dyno – mite. I was feeling like some cuppie cakes… and decided to add some lemonade concentrat...

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Night Heat

I notice whenever it is extremely warm the stalker of mine gets out of hand with tricks. The last few days have been hot and humid. Tonight she had a young lady approach my family while we were sitting on the front porch. Her spy began to compliment my gardening skills and asking did I have a girlfriend not WIFE to help me out.  Hmmm why not my mother? She was sitting right there taking this event all in. The spy kept focusing on who is the woman in my life and why isn't she there. The spy's next set of questions were more detailed and specific. Her first mistake was mentioning a diner that I took my stalker to and actually mentioned what I ordered without asking me.

The second mistake was saying my daughter's name without us telling her who she was.

The third mistake was mentioning the fire on the back of the house. She wanted to know if my kitchen was complete.

 My mother saw her cellphone recording and asked her why was she doing that? The spy ran off into the night like a puff of smoke.

When you know what you're dealing with it's easier to find the solutions.......

Friday, June 15, 2012

Summer Heat

I have never felt so uncomfortable on a date. She was like an animal during mating season. As we sat waiting for our food, her hands began to touch my private area. I asked her to stop but she didn't.  That just added fuel to the forrest fire inside of her. When the food came she asked for TO-GO boxes. I thought the date was over. Noooooooo. She just wanted me in her car,alone. I knew in my gut I should have driven. She then asked me to get in the backseat like a teenager. I declined, she got violent and verbally abusive.......
 Let's just say it's 1am and I just got in from 8pm. I called a few people to pick me up with no such luck. A nice lady at the bar drove me home. I offered her a few bucks,she declined. She said my conversation and wit was payment enough, I made a new friend tonight.....

Monday, June 11, 2012

Just said "no"

I just got in from a date and I ended the 1st date with my typical surprise gift. She was delighted asked me in to finish the date in her what I gather, normal style..... 
I declined. I said "NO, I don't sleep around on the first date no matter what the attraction." She turned to me and stated "you're not a real man." I responded with a smirk.

I am man of morals and will not be turned into the sleeze bucket that my handsome outter appearance gives off! I can't help that women are attracted but I did determine the night's outcome.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

A new normal

Now that mama is thinking of moving into a senior apartment things are changing. I'll have one less person to help out. What will I do with that extra 15 mins......

Friday, June 1, 2012

Joyful Homemaking: Make Your Own Sparkling Juices

Joyful Homemaking: Make Your Own Sparkling Juices: My hubby and I enjoy a bottle of sparkling (non-alcoholic) juice on occasion, but a friend of mine gave me a tip on making my own at home. ...

Adorned from Above: Anti-Aging Face Cream

Adorned from Above: Anti-Aging Face Cream: Sunday was my day to make new moisturizers, shaving creams, face and hand wash, and shaving soap for my son. I love making all of these prod...